you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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