The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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