I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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