this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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