If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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