So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he shaved USA in his pubs
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize