i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had sex on a roof
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize