...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize