How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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