My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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