Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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