well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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