I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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