You work out of a Hotel?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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