just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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