shes about as inviting as chlamydia
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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