i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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