dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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