the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize