i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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