I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize