yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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