I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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