Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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