kristin has been a bad kristin
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize