Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
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please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
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Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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