i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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