Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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