did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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