closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize