and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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