I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize