so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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