So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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