My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize