I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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