I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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