we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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