We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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