you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you had me at cake vodka
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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