Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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