I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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