I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
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a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
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sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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