If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I look better un-naked...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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