Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize