My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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