I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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