well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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