Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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