Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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